Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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(352): View more from Florida

I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

(904): View more from Florida

You stay classy.

(352): View more from Florida

The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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(770): View more from Georgia

He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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(631): View more from New York

Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

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(206): View more from Washington

I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible

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