Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
