I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
