I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
