his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
