i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
