This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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