don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
