I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
