He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
