I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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