I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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