just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
