I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
someone owes me an orgasm
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My vagina just recognized that song.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
