i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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