I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize