Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize