OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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