I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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