dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
