I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
