dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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