I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
