I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
