u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
