I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
