I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
