Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
