He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
