It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize