Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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