Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
