cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
