You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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