i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We are two peas in an std pod
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
