i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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