i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
