Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We smell like vodka and hangover
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