did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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