its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
