I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
