i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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