I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
