I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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