I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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