You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
