It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
how drunk are you?
Several
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
