i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
