you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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