why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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