I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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