I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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