I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize