this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
