I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
