He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have already put on my inside pants.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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