I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
