"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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