you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
