just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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