i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
