doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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