so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
