So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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